Matters of the Heart

“I have worn my heart on my sleeve because it is too painful to carry it inside my chest. When I carry it on my sleeve, it has the freedom to exist, to beat in rhythm with the Universe. I feel like I’m more alive and yes, there are those who out of curiosity will say or do things that can cause its delicate existence to feel pain and sorrow. I would rather deal with that, than to put it back in its little cage where it knows nothing else but the rhythm of my body and my Ego. My heart was never meant to be part of my Ego. My heart was meant to experience the Soul.” ~~ C. C. Campbell

It’s been over two months since I last posted. Believe me when I say that it wasn’t my intention at all to take a hiatus. It’s weird, since I’ve been posting monthly, and sometimes even more than that, for years now. But as I mentioned in my last post, I enrolled in an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach program with the Integrative Wellness Academy, and I’ve been working really hard to make my way through. I decided that to focus on all the material the way I needed to, I needed to cut back in some areas. Unfortunately, my blogging was where I decided to cut, temporarily. But now….I’m BAAACK!!!

At this point, I’ve completed my program, and literally just found out that I passed…with a 100% on both the final exam and the practicum! Let me just say that I truly feel I chose a stellar organization for my certification. They are totally in line with everything I believe, and I love that the focus is on addressing all four areas of a person…Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual. If you aren’t addressing all four when coaching a client, then science shows that the ability to make lasting changes is not as likely. I am so excited to start working with people. I’ve got a few already, who I’ve been working with for free, so that I can get more practice and build my confidence. I hope they know how grateful I am for their willingness to put their trust in me to help them through the things they are trying to work on.

Throughout this entire process, I’ve been going through the process of being coached myself. After all, how can I expect to help others and feel confident that the tools and techniques work if I haven’t been through the process myself, right?

As I made my way through my own “stuff”, I realized I had a lot of deficiencies in the emotional realm. I don’t typically do a good job managing my stress, I don’t express my feelings very well when I am especially worked up about something, and I’m not one to relax and practice self-care by nature. So I spent a LOT of time working on these things over the past few months. And I must say, I really feel like I improved in this area tremendously. And the most important thing I did to get myself to the next level was to be more open.

Those of you who know me probably think I am already pretty open. But as I really dug deep within, I realized how much I bottle up my true feelings. I am always holding back, for fear of upsetting someone if I tell them what I REALLY think. And there are so many things that I’ve been through in my life that I have never shared with anyone. Not a SOUL!

But as I made my way through the process, I realized that all the things I’ve been through have made me who I am. And you know what? I actually, FINALLY, like who I am. No…scratch that…I LOVE who I am. Yes, that’s right…I actually LOVE myself. After all, how can I expect anyone else to love me if I don’t love myself?

Keeping everything inside for as long as I did…well, that’s what made me depressed. I felt like I had no one I could confide in. Or that people would judge me. And there were some things that I just needed to get off my chest, but I couldn’t. So I kept them inside and it festered. But going through this process made me realize that keeping things to myself — important things — is not healthy. And it’s selfish. Because there might be someone else out there, going through the same things I’ve been through, and maybe me sharing my story could help them. Help them realize they’re not alone, you know?

I’ve realized it’s necessary for me to speak my mind. I’ve been baby-stepping my way to that point, but I’ve definitely been able to be more open and honest lately. And while scary, it feels good.  To be able to be ME is kind of refreshing! And I feel like I’ve got WAY less ego than before. When I take on something, I am definitely thinking more about whether or not it is in line with who I am, rather than if it will get me “noticed”. So definitely less ego involved.

And as I go, I find more and more happiness. That’s what it’s all about. We should be doing things in our lives that make us happy. For many of us, it’s doing things for others. Whatever it is for you, make sure you’re doing it from your heart and not from your Ego. Once you get to that point, you will be amazed at how much lighter you feel…how much happier you will be.

Go ahead…give it a try. I dare you!

Namaste,

Melanie